Overdued First Post

Oh my gosh! I was supposed to start a new blog for the year in January, but now it is already February. I have about two to two and a half more months before I go off sailing. I had already sent in a request to sail off earlier due to my deferment, so hopefully that will be approved. I have already told my dad that I need my passport back, and he has agreed to give it back to me after the family holiday :) Things have been up and down so far, I do my best to stay away from the rest of them as much as possible not only to avoid hurting their feelings, but also to avoid getting my feelings hurt by them too. Sometimes, it is as though it is getting harder and harder for me to remain stoic and unaffected.

But on the other hand, at least there are people who actually try to make me smile, and i really appreciate them for that. It's been more than three months now, and so far, there has been ups and downs. But thank god the ups is definitely more than the downs, and the downs are only for a short while. But then again, I keep wondering "Why me? Aren't there better girls out there who suits him better? What's so good about me?"

It seems fine for now, apart from my own insecurity... and the fact that sometimes, just sometimes, I can't help but wonder how he feels about me. He cares, I know just how much he cares... but anything more than that... its all so... uncertain, I guess. But I am happy so far, I have been able to concentrate and enjoy the moment, and for now that is enough for me. I refuse to think of the past and the future when I am with him, since he refuses to promise me anything, either... that should be enough for now :)

But the best news is... I AM GOING SAILING SOON!! YAY!! Hahahahahaha... I am looking forward to it (about 95% actually, the other 5% is the reluctance to leave a certain someone -.-) Another good thing is that I spent the whole of yesterday watching television, something I haven't done in about two years. God, I am turning into a lazy pig and I enjoy it! LOL!! I guess that should be all for now, since everything was pretty much routine since the start of the year... ciao!! :)

Time: 1202
Date:06/02/2011